St.Vincent Volcano

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It’s not every day you get to walk up a volcano, especially an active one. So I am determined that a drop of rain, fog, and gale force winds aren’t going to put the mockers on my hike to the top of La Soufriere, St.Vincent’s highest point. This is the Caribbean after all, where storms come and go faster than rum punches.

Sailor isn’t so sure. He regularly guides holiday makers to the caldera, and knows that sometimes, where a volcano is concerned, things can go wrong.

“I had to carry a man on my back last week,” he says from behind the wheel of his minibus. “It’s damp up there, and he slipped. It took me an hour and half to get him back.”

I assure him I won’t be any trouble, insisting we stop and buy a quart of Mount Gay. If things go awry on the trail, I say, he has my permission to leave me, and the bottle, behind.

St.Vincent is ‘mainland’ among The Grenadines’ 32 islands. Once prosperous from arrowroot, bananas and sugar, with black sand beaches (that don’t fit into many people’s idea of a picture postcard island holiday), it now finds itself on the back-foot, reeling from the global downturn.

What St.Vincent does have, in truckloads, is an incomparable natural world. There are rain forests, huge waterfalls feeding into tropical lagoons. There are nature trails, and botanical gardens, and salt ponds. There’s the Mesopotamia Valley (itself an ancient caldera), known as the breadbasket of St.Vincent, with soil so mineral rich the crops grow themselves, and of course, there is the big daddy of them all, La Soufriere, the 4000 ft volcano, that last erupted in 1902.

St.Vincent is 11 miles wide and 18 miles from north to south. With my hotel, Young Island – 100 yards off shore and very James Bond circa 70s –  and most of the other  hotels clustered around the south coast, close to the airport and capital Kingstown, and nearly all of the headline natural resources in the north, days out need to start early. With the centre of the island mountainous and impenetrable, the fast roads – ie those with the least potholes and jay walking goats – follow the coast.

Sailor and I set off after breakfast. The drive to the trailhead is expected to take 90 minutes from my hotel in the south. From the clearing, with toilets and a cafe four miles inland at 900 ft, it could take up to two hours to hike to the 1.6 km wide caldera, depending on my fitness level. That’s 3000 ft of hiking, the trail steepening the higher it goes.

“I had this guy the other week, he was over 300lbs,” says Sailor. “I looked at him and told him the trail gets tough and I wouldn’t recommend he attempt it. He got cross and insisted. He gave up after 10 minutes. “If you’re not into hiking and steady walking it’s not for you.”

Our drive passes Argyle where the groundwork has been laid for a proposed international airport – if they can raise the capital to complete the job, and a string of black beaches populated by  egrets. There are stalls selling root crops, dasheen, eddoes and yams, and calalou used in soups, and men holding up bags of tiny fish called tritri. Compared to the west coast road, a serpentine track through countless villages, this one is fast. We pass Black Point, one of the locations used in the Pirates of the Caribbean movies, where Sailor’s trips sometimes stop for a picnic.  Minutes later we pull over outside Ferdies Bar, in Georgetown, and while Sailor arranges for our packed lunches I drink a glass of iced Mauby, a dry, taupe coloured infusion made from tree bark. Georgetown was the capital under British rule and the buildings have something of a stout, satanic, 19th century colliery town about them.

Close to the turn off inland Sailor shakes his head. When the wide Rabacca River here is this swollen it’s a sign the volcano trail is impassable. He purses his lips and looks to the darkness of the mountains  directly ahead. This is Carib country, the part of St.Vincent inhabited by South American indians who migrated to the Grenadines nearly 1000 years ago.

The trail turns out to be  tougher than I’d expected. After a mulchy walk along a forested ridge the gradient tightens with flights of slippery wooden steps cut into the side of the volcano. I’ve heard there are dreads up here cultivating marijuana. Right now, already tired, and the caldera shrouded in fog, the last thing I need is to be confronted by a whacked out stoned mountain men with a mistrust of outsiders. Every sound makes me twitch and I’m glad Sailor is with me.

We’ve been walking for 40 minutes, and making good time, when I see three hooded shapes emerging from the mist, each carrying a heavy load. Their heads are down and I can’t see their faces. “I wouldn’t go any further,” says a voice.

It belongs to Robert Watts, an English  volcanologist, based in Trinidad. He and his team had been attempting to install sensors – volcano detectors – in the  river bed, further up the trail. But the weather had proved to much, even for them, and they are turning back.

“Other volcanos let you know in advance when they’re about to go,”says Watts. “But this one – it  might only give a month’s warning.”

The team tarry while Watts explains the difference between volcanos that explode and those that ooze; it all depends on how fast the gas escapes, and without sensors there’s no way of knowing. The next minute they’re gone, leaving Sailor and I to ruminate on what might have been.

We return to the trailhead, with frigate birds circling overhead, and enjoy our lunch from the comfort of the picnic area, La Soufriere drifting in and out of the clouds.

 

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Dispatches to Sir Kev Dutton from the Tarn et Garonne – Saint Antonin-Noble-Val, et la campagne 29.08.13

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Cher Sir Kev,

While life in London swirls inexorably in far reaching ways life in the Tarn et Garonne is simply, well quieter. With the Feast of the Assumption over many of the French holiday makers have packed their baguettes and headed for home, leaving just a few Brits to eke out the last of the summer.P1020498

Indeed, it is suddenly so quiet, so bereft of tourists, we had a heck of time finding a restaurant the other evening. Our local, the Auberge du Vieux Moulin, is closed and the owners are away on holiday, without consulting us. Our second choice, in Puy La Roque, was also closed, and we had to drive deep into the night, beneath a canopy of stars, to find a Logis in Caylus, where I ate indeterminate bits of geese and ducks.

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You would have enjoyed our evening in Caussade last week. A small party of us attended a ‘degustation’ at Vente Vins, a fine wine and delicacies emporium on the town square: A celebration of the Malbec grape, used in the rich and indomitable red wines of Cahors,  an elegant town a few miles west of here, on a bend in the Lot river. When I first visited Cahors in the 70s they couldn’t give their wine,  once favoured by Russian Tsars, away and connoisseurs mocked its bucolic primitiveness.

But things have changed Sir Kev. Today the once crude wine from Cahors has been refined, and to many is comparable to Northern Rhones, but at a third of the price. Sadly, I had to take it easy due to the infernal gout, but I can wholeheartedly recommend any Cahors older than seven years, and which would set you back about 30 euros a bottle. Compare that to an equally fruit laden and chocolatey Hermitage that would cost several times more.

During the course of the evening a young man decanted the wines and explained the production process. With my French I struggled to follow, and with Kim wondering why she was there,  we found ourselves quoting from the film Sideways to pass the time. That was until the charming assistant produced plates of rare cheeses to accompany the vintages. Believe me the Beaufort Reserve, when combined with a glass of Cahors 2000 ‘Prince Probus‘,  is an experience my taste buds will struggle to equal in my lifetime.

Returning from a morning walk with Asta we bumped into Anka and her friend Inika, on their way to St.Antonin-Noble-Val for a walking tour of the town – that would be in English. Despite being inappropriately attired (my best Goth/Camden boots, and forgive me, camouflage shorts) they insisted I hop in and join them. The guide who was supposed to have led the group had broken his leg and instead we were guided by an Englishman, who until recently had run a small ex-pat bookshop there.

P1020386There are few lovelier towns, with ancient lanes and grand Italianate buildings, shaded by tall plain trees, and all in the shadow of a mighty limestone escarpment. At different times the St.Antonin has been French and English, its wealth derived from a tannery industry. These days the lanes have pretty boutiques with chic bits and bobs suited to tourism. What struck me Sir Kev was the sheer number of ancient retail properties for sale, some large enough to accommodate small department stores. Many English buy them, working the summer and either hunkering down around wood burning stoves, or heading back to Blighty for the winter.P1020495_2

I have become quite taken with St.Antonin and these past few evenings Kim and I , always with Asta who is the most agreeable and contented pup, have enjoyed pastis aperitifs on the terrace of the Bar du Commerce. Not the swankiest joint, but a shady place to enjoy the comings and goings.

Speaking of which the weather has noticeably changed during the past month. I needed a blanket for the first time last night, and with the morning sun that little bit lower I have taken to wearing a cardigan for breakfast sur la terrace. Autumn is just around the corner and we shall be leaving Tarn et Garonne in two days. I shall be sad to go. The peace and tranquility is overwhelming. The limestone cliffs and dry stone walls, and ancient oak woodlands, the lunches of bread and cheese, Hubert’s bakery, our horses, and the eternal splendour of the skies at night, will hard to leave. But we shall, and then I shall toast this fine land with my last Havana.

A bientot Sir Kev.

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Dispatches to Sir Kev Dutton from the Tarn et Garonne – la riviere, vide graniers and renovation, en France 20.08.13

chez nous

Cher Kev,

I did enjoy your last dispatch from the Old Country, and I am sorry not to have attendedyour exhibition. I am in need of an occasion for a pair of slacks. The bucolic lifestyle is whittling away at my accustomed demeanor so much so that I wore the same shirt for two days this week, and have even dined without socks.

I have been reading a wonderful book, The Son, by an American author Phillip Meyer. It’s a long, epic, and savage yarn about settlers, Indians and Mexicans in 19th century Texas. The incredible cruelty, and greed, and the wealth some of the most brutal. Some passages have left me reeling. It follows several generations of one family, and is especially fascinating when recounting the lives of Comanches; I was fascinated by their taste for raw offal and blood, although I do wonder if they spoke in such a laddish way.

We have settled easily into life here in Tarn et Garonne. Days begin with freshly baked bread and home made jams and marmalades, or stewed fruits. Most with fruit I can see growing from my window. Lunches are usually bread and cheese, with some salad, and I leave dinners to Kim, with her gift of making a feast out of nothing.

I was pleased to discover some of that Jura wine I wrote about in the local super marche. And I was delighted that our most recent house guest, Eleanor, arrived bearing bottles of a red Sancerre; another rare gem.

Hubert and Anka remain the perfect landlords. They invited us to join them on a kayaking trip, east of Saint Antonin Noble Val, on the Viaur River. It was quite a journey in their Citroen Jumpy, passing fruit farms, and vineyards, limestone quarries, running parallel with a rusting railway track,  and through a serpentine valley with fecund smells too many to identify. Hubert and I paddled his clinker built kayak upstream, a buzzard tracking our progress through the warm, clear water.

Kim is never happier than rummaging through the odds and ends at vide graniers. There is one almost every day. She and Eleanor returned with hand thrown pots for one euro, and a beautiful hand embroidered linen sheet.  Asta is always a big hit at the markets, and we have met several people who have had Airedales themselves at some time. The local mutts are less agreeable, it may be the rich food. And there have been severable times when we were pleased Asta is such a coward and quick to scarper at the first sign of conflict.

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On an early evening drive, the time of day when the colours are so saturated you almost want time to stand still,  we stumbled upon the delightful hilltop town of Montpezay de Quercy. Our road passed some of the most manicured vineyards and timber forests I have seen. The mansions are impressive too, and the area, only ten or twelve miles north west of Causade speaks of money. We are all taken with the tall villa homes at the edge of the town, with views right across that sublime valley.P1020254

Of course, one is for sale and Eleanor duly made an appointment to view. What a revelation. Inside full size marble statues of Joan of Arc, and other notable French figures, enfilade doors leading to salons three meters high dressed with heavy, garnitured pieces, sconces of arms with clenched fists bearing candles, oil paintings of stout men and vast fireplaces. Imagine Citizen Kane’s Xanadu crossed with the V&A, and all for the price of a one bedroom former council flat in London. We sat and drank beer to consider her options.

Eleanor has now departed for Carcassonne to be with her son and grandchildren, but before she left she prepared a delicious fish stew with pollack and prawns purchased at the market in Causade. The poissonniere was delighted to lean the English word for the fish is ‘pollack’. He said it’s the French name for Poles, and laughed when I remarked that like the Poles, it is best served with vodka.

Sadly, Sir Kev, our paths may never cross again. Much as I have enjoyed our work together in Wapping the new editor of the section for which we are employed has deemed me surplus to requirements, and on his first day in his new job informed me, from afar, that my column is neither valued nor required. I shall miss our chats and the occasional fig roll. I daresay something will turn up, and until it does I still have eleven Havanas.

Yours as ever,

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Dispatches to Sir Kev Dutton from the Tarn et Garonne – du pain et d’autre choses 12.08.13

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Cher Kev,

Thank you for the kind offer of Ralph Lauren Madras cotton shorts. In fact, I think a pinafore would have been better, having spent six hours baking baguettes, pain de siegle, pain de campagne and pain aux noix, in Hubert and Anka’s bakery.

Hubert used to sell his bread at local markets, but these days – what with a bad back and the desire to retire – he only bakes twice a month, selling to friends and others who make the drive out here.

Most of my baguettes passed muster, and the pain aux noix (with walnuts and raisins, a bit like one I  bake at home) exuded an innocent charm. But I made a bit of hash of the pain de campagne. Hubert uses the sides of his hands like spatulas, forming the shapes, lifting and dropping on to the floured surface in one deft movement. Mine were less graceful.

spot the futrell baguette

kneader

the bread over

baking equipment

dinner

We used flour milled from various wheats grown on the farm kneading the dough in iron contraption that’s over 100 years old.

One of my duties was to get the wood burning bread oven to 300 degrees. It was hot work and to cool off we drank cold beers outside, overlooking Anka’s tomato plants. There Hubert told me about a cave beneath the farm where a friend – an amateur caver – discovered the skeleton of an elephant: He’d emerged after an afternoon in underground lakes and caverns with an elephant’s molar, that experts at a nearby museum confirmed to be from a beast that would have walked these harsh lands before the last ice-age.

The bread is delicious.

Meals en France are such a joy and I am sure there was a time in England when restaurants were affordable and unpretentious too; alas, not anymore. Only in France is the ceremonial formality of balanced meals – three or more courses and wine – combined with sensible prices. We dined at at a nearby auberg the other night, enjoying kir, a ‘pichet’ of wine, a salad, a meat entree, and dessert, for 22 euros. I wore the powder pink blazer.

Lunch today in Caylus, a hill town with bohemian shops, was even better;  sur la terrace, beneath a cloudless sky, with Asta curled up, and a priest wearing a crucifix so large it might have come from the church steeple. Three courses for 12 euros.

Our day had begun with another river swim. We were told peregrines live in the limestone cliffs, although we didn’t see any, but Chris spotted a kingfisher and Asta nearly caught a branch that Kim threw in the water.

Asta is endeavoring to make friends with the horses at the foot of the garden. She’s been temping them with well chewed plastic ice cream tubs and the remains of my baguettes. They’re not impressed.

asta

asta

With Saint Antonin-Noble-Val – like Padstow in August – heaving with holiday makers, we followed a dappled valley to a boot fair in Saint Projet. Shirtless men played boules on a sandy square. Kim bought a set of green and gold bone china cups and saucers for three euros.

As requested I have included some photographs taken with the LX7. I’m not much of a photographer and I’ll leave it to you to decide which of the baguettes was rolled and baked by your correspondent.

The weather has been uneven since the storm, but is nearly back to full strength, and I am tanned, although sadly back in shorts.

Tonight we’ll be sharing the pain aux noix and counting the stars once more.

A bientot.

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Dispatches to Sir Kev Dutton from the Tarn et Garonne

Cher Kev,

As you are aware Kim, Asta and I are in south west France.  The journey was arduous and difficult. So much so that our first meal en France was a MacDonalds.

It has been very hot. Today is the first day when the temperature permits the wearing of long trousers. Believe me, has been insufferable. Fortunately the heatwave – in the high 30s – broke last night with a dazzling thunderstorm that went on all night, the lightning illuminating the countryside for miles. Thankfully Asta was unperturbed. She’s a brave pup. The air is much fresher today and I for one feel sensibly attired. With luck tonight I’ll be able to accompany my slacks with one of the two blazers I packed: I favour the powder blue linen. We’ll see.

the harvest is in

the harvest is in

The house is charming. Very basic and ever so hippie. There are horses, that Kim thinks might be Arabian, at the foot of the garden. The owners are Dutch farmer/bakers. Hubert is charming with a beard, and she, her name Anke, is leggy, and gamine, with skin the colour of tobacco, and very gorgeous. They are vegetarian of course, which is making me a bit worried about the inevitable aroma from our lamb bbq this evening. Yesterday Hubert rushed to harvest the corn  before the storm and I assisted, shoveling corn from the back of a truck that I am assured was built in 1957.

The tastiest tomatoes around here are oddly shaped, but the wine is excellent and, as you ask, I am down to my last three Havanas, which is a concern.

We swam in a river the other day and local French people (with an excellent wine cellar the husband dug himself (!) below the cuisine)  invited us to dine al fresco. The food was divine; Toulouse sausage and beans and cherries soaked in Eau de Vie with ice cream for desert. My host introduced me to a fabulous white wine from the Jura region.

You ask about music, of which I was prepared. Current play list includes The Basement Tapes, soundtracks Blade Runner and One From The Heart, Daniel Melingo, the Esbjorn Svensson Trio, Lady Day, and Exile On Mainstreet – the digitally remastered version that is excellent. As I write I am listening to my latest, Way Down Low by Kat Edmonson. I can’t stop playing the track Lucky. She is American but looks Swedish.

I have done some writing, but not enough. Friends arrive today and tomorrow.

I’ll send another bulletin in due course.

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Arret! Très Chic – how I was that guy

Nile in white with microphone and fender

How many Chic albums do you have; that’s studio albums, excluding compilations and live sets? It’s a simple enough question because there aren’t that many. I have eight, which is interesting because there should have only been seven.

The reason I have one more than most is due to the fact that one of them – Tres Chic, should never have seen the light of day. It appeared late in 1978 and might have done quite well if I hadn’t alerted Nile Rodgers to the fact that the ten track album his UK record label had just issued bore only a passing resemblance to the eight track C’est Chic set that Nile, as co-writer, producer, and lead guitarist, had been expecting me to discuss.

“I love it that you’re that guy that showed us that album cover,” says Nile, just the other day while I am interviewing him for a second time; this time for The Sunday Times’ My Hols column in The Travel Section.

Nile is unquestionably the man of the Summer of 2013. Chic bassist and co-founder Bernard Edwards died in 1996 and Nile himself was diagnosed with prostate cancer in 2010. But you can’t keep a good man down and this year Nile is back in the charts on Daft Punk’s Get Lucky, while The Chic Organization, performing all of Chic’s hits (sounding better than ever) and many Rodgers and Edwards tunes written and produced for Sister Sledge, Diana Ross, Madonna and David Bowie and are on an ever expanding world tour that’s already been to London’s Hyde Park and Glastonbury.

“ It was the most shocking thing that I can ever remember,” Nile says of the misconceived second album.

“There have been two things like that in my life. Obviously what WEA did to that album, and then Motown when they took the Diana Ross record away from us.

Tres Chic - mais non

Tres Chic – mais non

“And what’s funny is these are both massive, massive selling records in my life. That second Chic album, C’est Chic, contains the biggest selling single of the entire Atlantic Records history, Le Freak – and they’re (WEA in the UK) telling us it’s not right.

Thirty four years ago I’d been sitting on the side of a bed, in a West End hotel used by many visiting US music acts. A cassette recorder on my lap while Nile Rodgers paced the room nervously.

“Say that again?” Nile demanded tersely, his mood had darkened from friendly courtesy to brusqueness. He wanted me to repeat my description of the Chic album his record company WEA had sent me, entitled Tres Chic, and depicting a glossy blonde onthe cover with legs wrapped around a fluorescent tube light. Eight new tracks, in addition to the big hits from the previous album, Dance, Dance Dance (Yowsah, Yowsah, Yowsah), and Everybody Dance appeared at the close of each side, and which to my opinion unbalanced what in many ways was otherwise the perfect disco album.

I wasn’t always so forthright with international pop stars, but sometimes you’ve just got to tell it as it is. I was, and remain, a huge Chic fan hoped Nile would appreciate that and cut me a little slack.

When I’d finished he raised a finger and asked me to stay right there. He left the room, returning  some minutes later with a bemused Bernard Edwards.

“Tell him what you told me,” instructed Nile.

I duly did and watched as Bernard’s jaw hit the deck.

“Tres Chic is what we’d planned for the third album,” said Nile. Whereupon He thanked me for my time and abruptly wound up the interview.

WEA duly pulled the album and subsequently issued C’est Chic in the manner Nile and Bernard had always intended. (In the event the third Chic album became Risque, but you can see why the boys had Tres Chic in the backs of their minds.)

on stage

“And you’re the guy who showed us that,” he says, after I confess to have dined out on the tale more than once. I tell him I would have thought the million selling hits from the first album would have  bought him a little record company respect.

“We worked hard on those records. They were complete, with beginnings, middles and endings. We worked on them, it wasn’t chance.

“You know, early on in our career people thought it was a fluke, that we were one hit wonders. They thought somehow we would go away.

“I’m not being egotistical, I’m being statistical. The truth is I’m 60 years old and I’ve just had a million seller here in the UK with Daft Punk and Get Lucky, and I’ve found out there have only been 136 million selling singles here in the UK, ever. We weren’t lucky writing hit records, we worked at it. We’ve learned how to do this and we we write music from out heart.

“And it’s so amazing you are that guy.”

LIVE: Nile Rodgers and The Chic Organization: Indigo, at O2, London (July 27); Bestival, Isle of Wight (Sept 8); Festival 6, Portmeirion, Wales (Sept 15). 

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Driven To Drink – my time (albeit brief) with the late Alan Wicker

icon in a blazer

I met Alan Whicker once, a long time ago. I think it was in the sprauncy resort town of Costa Smerelda, where men wear sarongs, and there are Sunseeker launches in the bay, far north on Sardinia’s east coast.

It was a period after he’d finished doing travel films on the rich and very rich and was moving into motoring, while I was heading in the other direction; from cars to travel.

It was a pre-dinner cocktails soiree in a pleasant single story hotel with a lawn for a roof and ocean views. He was sat alone against the wall, in the middle of a line of empty chairs, cradling a plate of hor d’oeuvres. I remember thinking that he looked just like the Alan Wicker I used to watch on the tv as a boy,  easy with the people and places I could never imagine visiting. A little grey around the ears, and slightly jowly, but sharp, in grey slacks, and a blazer with a handkerchief in the breast pocket.

I can’t remember which German luxury car maker was sponsoring the trip, but you’ll get the idea if I say it was no expense spared. In the car park, beneath one of those flawless Mediterranean skies, stood a fleet of new cars, shiny, and prepped,  poured over incessantly by a small army of men in overalls. Inside a couple of dozen motoring correspondents, many from publications nobody had ever heard of, were caning the free bar and buffet like the world was about to end.

Having previously written for Elle, and later Arena, neither publication noted for their motoring expertise (I got away with writing more about the upholstery than the horsepower), and having only shortly before the trip graduated to The Observer, I didn’t really know any of the hard core car writers there. I was a consumer/style writer, the trip’s lightweight, and I recall whenever the time came to double up and take a test car for a spin, the other motoring journalists would step to one side rather than share a drive with me.

As such I was always the last to get a car. Twice PRs, out of sympathy, hopped in next to me, and one occasion I persuaded a waiter to join me, raising some eyebrows. Only once did I get a bone fide journalist to partner me. He was something of a petrol head race ace with a motorsports magazine. He must have been there for the buffet because it can’t have the motor, a puny Mazda hatchback. His name was Mike and he barely spoke a word as I piloted our car,designed for midwives and retired head teachers, around the Costa Brava in the manner of a crack head escaping the cops. At the appointed driver changeover location Mike broke his silence. Unclipping his seatbelt he looked over his sunglasses and asked, “do you always drive like that?”

That’s Alan Wicker, I said to one of the PRs, explaining what a fan I was. You should tell him came the reply. Apparently the great man often sat on his own at such do’s, a study of suave and polished elegance. I introduced myself and embarked upon a  fan’s appreciation of an idol, mindful not to go too far back in time lest he was age sensitive. How I’d been enthralled by the easy way he slipped in and out of fabulous locations, moving smoothly among the sort of people who would have holidayed there at the Aga Khan’s resort. I said how much my friends and I had enjoyed the tongue-in-cheek Barclaycard television commercials, and thanked him for my passion for brass buttoned blazers. All the while he chewed, nodded and seemed attentive.

And when I’d finished, having told him about myself and who I wrote for, he cleared his throat, and in that often impersonated although never equalled voice, seasoned with emphasis and nuance, he asked me if I would be so kind as to, pass him his drink. I think he stood up shortly after, and left.

It was a brief conversation, but for me, a memorable one.

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Honest PR – shock

I get a lot of emails from PRs. And by that I mean a lot, between 25 and 100 every day. Most don’t interest me; they are either inappropriate (I don’t write a lot of articles on women’s underwear, albeit it something I had thought of getting into in the past), neither

not so fast

not so fast

am I interested in children’s clothes, gaming, cosmetic surgery, DIY, transport infrastructure, east European rock festivals, or long stay parking. Just a snapshot of this month’s in-tray.

What they have in common though is a courtesy, bordering upon obsequiousness. Invariably opening with – ‘hello, hope you’re well… ‘ and accompanied with some contemporaneous reference to the weather, or a major sporting event. What I have never received, prior to this week, is an email from a PR describing me as both a “bit or an arse or can be”, and “patronising”. Both of which may well be true, and can be discussed at a later date. But that’s not the point.

To clarify  the email was addressed to me alone, but was intended for another public relations executive (perhaps a newcomer getting  ‘heads-up’ on influential writers) within the sender’s West End luxury goods PR company; a list of the company’s clients reads like a Kim Kardashian shopping list.

In fact, I am not the only journalist worthy of a mention by the PR, whom I shall refer to  henceforth as Richard, Dick for short. There are four of us, all with national newspapers and major consumer magazines: one is a big cheese in fashion (I find him a bit scary myself); another is described as ‘gay gay, nice, quite cultured’; and the last, ‘completely impossible’.

Three of us, suggests Dick, should receive gifts;  the big cheese two, perhaps as a mark of his status, added to the fact that Dick cannot find unpleasant things to write about him. Two, including myself,  should get personalised presents, presumably from the piles of luxury goods that lie around the office, next to empty bottles of Bollinger, and iPads. The fourth (the gay), for reasons that Dick doesn’t make clear, should only receive product information.

Of course, it is impossible to take serious offence from what is, after all, a trivial gaff. But the email does lift the lid on what may be a truer glimpse of what some PRs actually think of the journalists they are paid to impress, co-operate with, and be nice to. It also serves as a warning to those of us who use computers hurriedly of the dangers of not paying attention to software protocols. One misplaced click and your entire database knows you’re an idiot.

In fact, mental faculty is a key element of Dick’s estimation. He writes, and I quote, he “…thinks all PRs are stoopid…” As I wrote in my reply, I cannot can’t imagine where he got that idea from?

Maybe I’ll click the link on the bottom of the email, and follow Dick on Twitter.

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Artful Wine

A Slide Show Sequence For China-1 2

Chateau La Coste is the most unusual vineyard in France. In fact, it’s probably the most atypical vineyard in the world.

In fact, it doesn’t look like a vineyard at all, in the conventional sense. There is no clutter, no abandoned 2CV vans, or craggy men in blue overalls with lips stained amber by a lifetime of Gauloises. There are vines, fanning out like parquet flooring across a valley enclosed by green and white oaks, but there any similarity with conventional vineyards ends.

Drop by Tom Shannon

Drop by Tom Shannon

Tando Ando's chapel Crouching Spider

Turning into the 500 acre estate, a 20 minute drive north of Aix-en-Provence, I am confronted by two flat mid grey slabs of concrete,  one bearing the name of the chateau in sans serif lettering, that establish the fact that this is a vineyard with entirely different set of priorities. A feeling enhanced as I a pass a gigantic crouching steel spider towards a single story complex of concrete and glass, called ‘The Village’, with sublime perspectives through every angle. The entire edifice hovering above angular lakes of cobalt water.

Andy Goldsworthy's Stone On Wood

Andy Goldsworthy’s Stone On Wood

On the other side of what turns out to be the visitor’s centre and restaurant, designed by Japanese architect Tadao Ando, past the original 17th century Venetian villa, are two large, shiny, industrial corrugated half tubes, containing the wine cuverie. Beyond these, located on hillocks, and in small oak groves, more than 20 pieces of land art and sculpture. Among them Frank Ghery’s Music Pavilion, formerly in London’s Hyde Park; a leash of foxes by Michael Stipe, the singer with REM; Tom Shannon’s Drop, a kinetic globule of polished metal hovering, and imperceptibly moving above the terrain; and through a portal in the side of a hill Andy Goldsworthy’s Stone On Wood, a silent and spellbinding subterranean cavern made from interlocking oak trunks.

Tadao Ando has also contributed pieces, including the transformation of an ancient chapel that he happened upon while surveying the property; within its meditative darkness what light there is seeps through a gap beneath the floor, and from three small holes that serve to illuminate a green glass altar.

Other sculptures and artworks are being added all the time, and in two years there will be a hotel and spa on one of the hills overlooking the entire edifice.

The person behind Chateau La Coste is litigious Irish property developer Paddy McKillen, who from a brief scan of the internet appears to spend so much time in court with one thing or another that I am loathe to say too much about him lest I put a foot wrong and find myself joining him in one.  With financial interests around the world, and by all accounts stakes in a number of London hotels, mixed media loving McKillen spurns publicity. Suffice to state his bottomless chequebook pays for everything at the chateau, while the day-to-day running of the conceptual side of the project is the job of his softly spoken sister, Mara.

Jean Nouvel's Wine Cuverie

Jean Nouvel’s Wine Cuverie

But don’t make the mistake of thinking this vineyard has turned its back on its core function. The new biodynamic wine production centre,  three levels deep inside a space age cuverie designed by French architect Jean Nouvel and reminiscent of an epic James Bond film set, is managed by winemaker Matthieu Cose. A barn of a man, a rugby player, and the guiding hand behind a range of notable wines: there are whites, blending sauvignon blanc, chardonnay and vermentino; pale, characterful roses (my preferred choice the Grand Vin 2010 combining 90 per cent grenache with syrah); and inky Rhone like reds of syrah, grenache and cabernet sauvignon. Most are drinking now but Cose insists the Grand Vin 2009 red, already dark, spicy, and aromatically seductive, will be a cracker in 15 years.

All of this is open to the public. Lunch is served daily in The Village restaurant, with wine appropriate to the plate. There are wine and olive oil tours and tastings. And for the hale and hearty  a mapped, and fully annotated, two hour walks around the art installations.

Chateau La Coste, 2750 route de la Cride, 13610 Le Puy-Ste-Reparde. +33 (0)4 42 61 92 92/www.chateau-la-coste.com  

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J.Simons – The American Way

The mark of a truly great shop is the way in which the staff know, almost telepathically, what you want, even before you do. And I’m not talking about those algorithms used by iTunes that seem to think my next purchase should be either Frank Ifield – The Essential Collection, or The Crazy World of Stan Freberg. (It also came up with Crosby Still and Nash’s Deja Vu, but I already have that).

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No, I refer to a men’s clothing retailer that not only understands my taste, but factors in variables like the weather, and my fluctuating waistline. This intuitive skill is what makes Marylebone’s J.Simons such a rare gem. That and a stock of the most wearable garments any man, of any age, could ever hope to own.

On a visit some months ago John Simons, the quietly spoken founder and driving force behind the company, that opened its first shop in 1964, greeted me warmly, perhaps in recognition of my being a customer for going on 25 years. After the initial chit chat he said he had something that would be perfect for me. Moments later he produced a vintage bespoke suit, in black barathea, that, frankly, fits me like a glove; not just the shoulders and sleeves, but the waist and even the trouser length. Who needs digital mapping with eyes as sharp as John Simons’?P1000655

If I were to describe J.Simons as an American outfitter, which is largely true, you would probably have the wrong impression, unless you already acknowledge that Americans have a knack of taking quintessentially English looks and handing them back to us, sharper, often better made (over engineered like their motorcycles), and indisputably cooler. The genre is ‘Preppy’, or ‘Ivy League’ – derived from the clothes worn at prestigious East Coast universities and preparatory schools. A look that has never, and will never, go out of fashion, for the simple reason that it is so timeless.

Check shirts and chunky knit sweaters in the shades of a New England fall, and shawl collar cardigans. Brooks Brothers polo shirts, and Baracuta (aka Harrington) jackets, Grenfell raincoats, manly boots by Red Wing and Sebago, and triple welted brogues from Florsheim. And J.Simon’s signature garment, the button Oxford cotton shirt, the backbone of any modern man’s wardrobe. “The roll of the collar, that’s the most important thing,” reads a hand written tag in the window.

For men who cite Cary Grant and Steve McQueen as style icons and marvel at the perfection of Miles Davis’ green button down shirt on the cover of the 1958 album ‘Milestones’, J.Simons is the Holy Grail. Here is the missing link between Savile Row and Hollywood. Mid-Atlantic tailoring for men who want to be smart – but never stuffy.

But J.Simons is much more than a place with the right brands. The store’s unique talent is knowing its customers. Simons tells me about one, who moved to the US some years ago, and who annually and asks him to source, by phone, some trousers, shirts and maybe a jacket or two.

“He trusts me,” says Simons, picking out items he deems suitable for the California climate.

I trust him too. Each time I step into his new shop in Chiltern Street, after a generation in Covent Garden, he’ll look me over, allow for a modest shift in size, and then present me with the perfect tweed jacket, a pair of Bermuda weight dog-tooth slacks, or some Venetian ‘dress’ loafers. And, be bang on the money in size, shape, colour, and ‘look’ – every time.

“I match people to clothes,” says Simons, professorially. “It’s a knack.”

J.Simons,  46 Chiltern Street, London, W1U 7QR. 020 3490 2729/johnsimons.co.uk

 

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